I’m cut from a different cloth. They love my sense of humor, say I’m a clown that’s why they stayed around. I went from class clown to being hopeless, lonely and down. I became an outcast in my own mind. Closet drinker to isolated drug user but this time in the moment I moved past that.
Friendships I thought I had, fizzled. I didn’t get angrier, but the chip on my shoulder did. If your not losing friends, your not growing up. Sobriety made me grow up so it comes with the territory I guess. They weren’t good for me anymore so I had to let Go.
My past can not be changed, forgotten, edited, or erased; it can only be accepted. I heal my past because I care about my future but I stay in the present one day at time to maintain my Recovery.
#OldVsNew #GoodVsEvil #DrunkVsSober
I’m constantly accomplishing all of my new accomplishments. Sometimes I wake up and feel like I haven’t really accomplished shit. Honestly it’s stressful. I got skeletons in my closet. I won’t say I’m trying to clean it up, maybe just sort it out. I’m sharing with you things that I thought about. Can’t stop dreaming about.
Hey Charles, how do I get these demons out? Voices in my head, I need to scream it out. Something has to give. You don’t get rid of your demons, you learn to live with them.
I lost many friends in as many weeks; From the same place I call home. My paranoia got me feeling obnoxious. But let me paint a different picture: I didn’t lose friends, I gained angels. So before bed I’m saying thank you. Be very careful about what you think. Your thoughts run your life. Don’t use your mouth to tell lies. Don’t ever say things that are not true. Who takes a bullet for you is not as important as the one who takes the bullet out of you. Never give up on me!
(An Open Letter)
Pen & Pad:
When I was going to commit suicide the Pen & Pad were by my side. They saw and felt the tears. They felt the pain and anguish. They were the rhyme of reason. They said STOP!
Jack Daniels, Budweiser, Pills & Cocaine:
You were by my side always at arms reach. You were my protectors and saviors. You got me through my Highs and Lows (literally and figuratively). You always said yes and didn’t take no for an answer. Road Trips, Vacations, Holidays and Celebrations you were right there with me. You never judged me. You asked me how I’m feeling and What’s Wrong? You said GO!
What is a Friend?
A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.
A person who has a strong liking for and trust in another person.
A person who is not an enemy friend or foe.
A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
A person who gives assistance, patron, or supporter.
Friends: Everyone thinks they have them. Most are quick to throw the label on any Jack or Jill who hangs around adorned with a smile, a few jokes, and good conversation. But how many of us really have authentic ride-or-die? How many of us know what a genuine friend is? It took me some time to figure it out, but through my experiences, I eventually learned the meaning of a true friend.
Sometimes we get wrapped up in people just because we spend a little time with them or feel connected to their personalities. I for one can attest to this. There have been plenty times where I’ve prematurely categorized people as allies just because we hung out, shared laughs, and a few fun-filled episodes. And I won’t mention how many of those same so-called comrades turned out to be backstabbers who betrayed me, deceived me, and were non-existent when I needed them most.
Charles Louis King