By Your Side

Dear Daughter,

You know I Love and Cherish you. While you were still in your mom’s womb, I sung to you so you would know my voice. I can still feel your trusting body on my shoulder when, as an infant, you abandoned yourself in my arms in a peaceful slumber. Your little hands are still holding tightly to my pinkies as you were taking your first steps. You are, in my mind, the toddler running to the door joyfully screaming “Dada, Dada, Dada” when I come to pick you up from daycare.

As a first time father, I do my best to care for you, teach and guide you along life’s paths. I will make many mistakes because you are the guinea pig. But then, you will be a fine specimen and I do not have to deviate too much from the many books I read about parenting. Still, I have to gingerly walk through the years of teaching to put the values I consider important into your heart.

You are, beautiful inside and out. Your smile brings me overwhelming joy. Your sweetness melts my heart. Your laughs and cries light my world. I read that girls grow up confident and possess self-respect if their father showed them love constantly. For that reason, I stay by your side often to let you know that you are so loved that you don’t need to look for love elsewhere.

Love,

Xoxo

Dada

Open Letter 2 Mom & Dad

(An Open Letter)

Dear Mom & Dad:

MOM: In my mid twenties, when my drinking was not yet out of control, we started bonding over a few drinks. A few drinks lead to different roads but the same outcome…Alcoholism.

DAD: I know my daddy sitting in that daze going crazy. Thinking about his little boy Charlie, like his life amazing. But he doesn’t even owe me. That’s my daddy but he doesn’t really even know me. They say Charles you grew up, you grew up without a father.

But I see now that shit really just made me grind harder. The Lies will be forever in your…Addiction

My mama use to pray for me every night I was thinking maybe I’m going straight to hell. The devil got a hold of me but I gotta let him go. I just kept praying for escape and serenity.

_____

As a former young alcoholic/addict and now a slightly older recovering alcoholic/addict, I don’t have anything original to contribute other than my own experience. My story is inspiring and remarkable except for the fact that an absolute miracle happened 3 years ago, and I continue to be blessed everyday with a life that I never could have imagined.

_____

My personal experience with addiction and recovery hopefully will resonate with some readers and provide some insight, comfort, and hope. They say you’re a product of your environment. Growing up watching you two parents destroy your bodies from addictions I sure was following your path but you didn’t make me an alcoholic/addict. Long before I took my first drink or used my first drug, I started on a path that led me into my addictions.

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At least in my experience, no amount of intervention could have prevented me from making the choices I made. I was a deadly combination of naïve, stubborn, foolish, and scared, and I got there on my own.

Sincerely,

Charles Louis King

Open Letter 2 my Daughter

(An Open Letter)

Dear Daughter:

It’s difficult being me. But we are one in the same. You can’t talk right now but your face says it all. You melt my heart and make daddy’s mental state disappear. Don’t get discouraged. My beloved pain and mental illness is part of life.

I promise you that I will turn every tear you’ve ever cried into Joy. I will use our pain for a divine purpose. Don’t ever try to hide your hurts from me and I will never hide mine to you. We are ONE. Your love is my love. Your pain is my pain. I’m the only one who can handle your heart ❤️ and restore you to health again.

As you grow older you will encounter pain, rejection and anger. I too, have felt but we will get through every trial and tribulation together. Hold my hand for I will ALWAYS lead you back to my place of peace and joy after the storm. The sun forever shines bright on you and our hearts will heal together.

My 🌹ose, my princess, when you go through deep rivers of difficultly, you will not drown because I’m there holding your head above water.

I’m your Dada, your King, and your Healer.

I Love You,

xoxo

Dada

Dear Absentee Dad,

All I can think of to say to my father is…

Hey “Dad” I did it without you.

To the man who abandoned me 25+ years ago, Thank You. You showed me that not only can I survive without you, but that I can build my own life that doesn’t involve you or any memories of you. Yes, there are things that I inherited from you (your facial features and your humor) but when I look at myself, I no longer see you. I see a confident young man who has overcome his past demons and is creating a brighter future for himself and his family.

_____

Yes, there are still times where I want to ask him why wasn’t/isn’t he a great father to begin with? But knowing the second he open his mouth a spew of lies will outwardly follow. Being a coward, why speak ill words about my mother? The second half of my creation yet you play the blame game to her parenting skills. But most importantly why you left me to grow up without you. But I’ve realized that doing that will destroy any blockade I have in my mind of you, because my times with you weren’t pleasant at all. How many more lives can you affect — from my sister, to your sisters, to my wife, to your granddaughter, and so on and so on. The term Cancer is the first thing that comes to mind. You manipulate and play the poor victim to others around you.

_____

Recently I’ve been told by numerous family members and friends to “forgive and forget” or “be the bigger man”. Yet the funny part of that all is: I HAVE ALREADY. AA has taught me not to hold onto past resentments, to let go of anger, and to forgive. There’s two sides to every story: I’m living a righteous life of years of being clean and sober. The other side hasn’t cleaned their side of the street yet they speak ignorance. So thank you, thank you for leaving my life without a proper goodbye. Thank you for giving me a better life. I’ve done so well without you “Dad”.

#BiggerMan #Maturity #Honesty