This Blog is for the Wives, Husbands, Girlfriends, Boyfriends or Loved Ones.
You have traveled a rocky road. You have had a long rendezvous with hurt pride, frustration, self pity, misunderstanding and fear. We alcoholics or addicts are not pleasant companions. You have been driven to tears, sympathy and bitter resentment. Some of you hoping that one day your love one would be themselves once more.
You have been unselfish and self sacrificing. You told lies to protect your love one’s pride and reputation. You prayed, begged, and tried to be patient. But you struck out, hid, ran away, became hysterical or just were terrified to approach them.
You wake up with hopes of a new day, a new person but suddenly realize as the day goes on they didn’t change. Maybe for a couple hours, a week or two, but the gut in your stomach fears they will resort back to their old destructive ways.
You love them so much and have no idea how to help them. Realize you are not the problem nor the solution. The alcoholic or addict has no idea how much they are being harmful to you or others. You can guide and suggest for them to get outside help without getting into arguments. Hard yes, but don’t give up. Never ever blame yourself. You are the strongest ones to live and come out of this environment. Sometimes as a last resort you have to let go and stop enabling too.
#RelationshipGoals #NotYourFault #StandByMe #Recovery
You know I Love and Cherish you. While you were still in your mom’s womb, I sung to you so you would know my voice. I can still feel your trusting body on my shoulder when, as an infant, you abandoned yourself in my arms in a peaceful slumber. Your little hands are still holding tightly to my pinkies as you were taking your first steps. You are, in my mind, the toddler running to the door joyfully screaming “Dada, Dada, Dada” when I come to pick you up from daycare.
As a first time father, I do my best to care for you, teach and guide you along life’s paths. I will make many mistakes because you are the guinea pig. But then, you will be a fine specimen and I do not have to deviate too much from the many books I read about parenting. Still, I have to gingerly walk through the years of teaching to put the values I consider important into your heart.
You are, beautiful inside and out. Your smile brings me overwhelming joy. Your sweetness melts my heart. Your laughs and cries light my world. I read that girls grow up confident and possess self-respect if their father showed them love constantly. For that reason, I stay by your side often to let you know that you are so loved that you don’t need to look for love elsewhere.
(An Open Letter)
From childhood to adulthood we teased and irritated each other but at the end of the day we can’t live without each other. I’ve made you cry, you’ve made me cry. Those tears were love, joy, pain and sympathy. We know each other’s hearts. We know what makes us tick. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets.
You are my only sibling, the one that I look up to for advice, support and vent to. You didn’t get the addiction gene from our parents and I don’t fault you for that. I try to shed light to the matter and not make it a private family matter. We all die one day so there’s no need to go to our graves with skeletons in our closet. You don’t understand my alcoholism, drug addiction and mental illness. But that’s ok. You never judge and willing to learn about me with your 21 questions.
We are cut from the same cloth but chose different paths in life. You never saw my destruction coming because I hid it so well. You laughed and thought that’s Charles being Charles. In reality I was to scared to reach out to you. I’m an alcoholic who hated himself when he didn’t drink. Not only did I lose my sister but I lost a friend that really knows me. We don’t say I love you to one another but our actions speak the love not spoken. I love you Big Sis.
(An Open Letter)
Dear Mom & Dad:
MOM: In my mid twenties, when my drinking was not yet out of control, we started bonding over a few drinks. A few drinks lead to different roads but the same outcome…Alcoholism.
DAD: I know my daddy sitting in that daze going crazy. Thinking about his little boy Charlie, like his life amazing. But he doesn’t even owe me. That’s my daddy but he doesn’t really even know me. They say Charles you grew up, you grew up without a father.
But I see now that shit really just made me grind harder. The Lies will be forever in your…Addiction
My mama use to pray for me every night I was thinking maybe I’m going straight to hell. The devil got a hold of me but I gotta let him go. I just kept praying for escape and serenity.
As a former young alcoholic/addict and now a slightly older recovering alcoholic/addict, I don’t have anything original to contribute other than my own experience. My story is inspiring and remarkable except for the fact that an absolute miracle happened 3 years ago, and I continue to be blessed everyday with a life that I never could have imagined.
My personal experience with addiction and recovery hopefully will resonate with some readers and provide some insight, comfort, and hope. They say you’re a product of your environment. Growing up watching you two parents destroy your bodies from addictions I sure was following your path but you didn’t make me an alcoholic/addict. Long before I took my first drink or used my first drug, I started on a path that led me into my addictions.
At least in my experience, no amount of intervention could have prevented me from making the choices I made. I was a deadly combination of naïve, stubborn, foolish, and scared, and I got there on my own.
Charles Louis King
(An Open Letter)
It’s difficult being me. But we are one in the same. You can’t talk right now but your face says it all. You melt my heart and make daddy’s mental state disappear. Don’t get discouraged. My beloved pain and mental illness is part of life.
I promise you that I will turn every tear you’ve ever cried into Joy. I will use our pain for a divine purpose. Don’t ever try to hide your hurts from me and I will never hide mine to you. We are ONE. Your love is my love. Your pain is my pain. I’m the only one who can handle your heart ❤️ and restore you to health again.
As you grow older you will encounter pain, rejection and anger. I too, have felt but we will get through every trial and tribulation together. Hold my hand for I will ALWAYS lead you back to my place of peace and joy after the storm. The sun forever shines bright on you and our hearts will heal together.
My 🌹ose, my princess, when you go through deep rivers of difficultly, you will not drown because I’m there holding your head above water.
I’m your Dada, your King, and your Healer.
I Love You,
Yes, Imagine how hard it must be to Live it. You know shit about the thoughts in my head. Or the strength I need daily just to get out of bed; Just to open my eyes. Don’t mention a person’s past mistakes when they are trying to Change. That’s like throwing rocks at them while they climb a mountain.
Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you. Never forget how far you’ve come. Everything you have gotten through. All the times you have pushed on even when you felt you couldn’t. All the mornings you wanted to give up but you got through another day. Never forget how much strength you have learned and developed.
I’m trying to improve my future so there’s no need to mention my past. The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday. One day? or Day One. You Decide.
#Strength #Onedayatatime #HateTheDisease #Recovery
Day 1000…WoW! I never thought I could put together 1000 straight Days of not drinking, drugging or gambling. Hell, I never thought I could put together 1000 Hours. But I realized it’s One Day At A Time.
I could always admit I was an alcoholic drug addict and I could never imagine feeling grateful about it. At almost three years clean and sober, my views have completely changed. I now count myself as one of those crazy people who believes they are truly lucky to be an alcoholic drug addict. The main reason I consider myself to be lucky to have accepted and overcome my addiction is that it has completely transformed my life. I’m a different person from who I was three years ago. I’ve gone from hopeless to hopeful.
I’ve finally become the person I was always meant to be, and I’ve done it by admitting that alcohol and drugs no longer belongs in my life. If I didn’t take that first step, I wouldn’t have the career, relationships, and happiness I am so grateful to have. It’s because of my addiction that I am where I am today. I never knew just saying the simple words “I am an alcoholic and drug addict” could be the catalyst to all of my joy. #OneDayAtaTime