(August 22, 2016) My Breaking Point to Surrender was in full effect. I was waking up feeling like death, shaking and craving Drugs/Alcohol just to function. Was lucky I didn’t have to be at work til 1:00pm. Sleep off the hangovers, continue to struggle at work and start destroying my body all over again immediately after work. Repeat.
My wife was working her second job just to escape me. I looked at it as more time to party and less nagging to hear. Then the 2-3am calls/text came in asking me where I was, keeping her awake up all night angry, tired and worrying. I was distancing myself more and more away from her. She was coming between me and my addictions. Not realizing that I was dragging her through my own hell. I became a Monster.
I was torn between wanting to continue this lifestyle which was spiraling downward fast with money loss, my health and my marriage. The other side of the brain (my addictions) was saying it’s ok I’m only harming myself and nobody else. I lacked emotions and feelings but a glimpse of HOPE for CHANGE was still there…almost…
#StartToSeeTheLight #SickAndTiredOfBeingSickAndTired #Recovery