Sober Thoughts…

This ain’t even like sober thoughts.
This is like Charles’ thoughts. It’s like really real shit.

Smoking and drinking, drinking and smoking.
Hoping for hope, but I’m hopeless.
Too much distractions, I’m losing my focus
Too much pain, can barely notice the beauty of things.
Too much mental commotion.
I’m trying to get back to the way I was.
I’m tired of escaping, I’m tired of the drugs.
I be having these relations but hiding my love (damn).
And instead of chasing, I’m like, “That coke is a dub”.
Oh, feeling the need to keep my heart on freeze.
Suffocating my feelings, instead of letting them breathe.
Knowing I’m hurting inside but act like shit is a breeze.
Because my heart is too heavy to wear that shit on my sleeve.
I stand tall, but I sit on that throne like a King
Praying is the only time I ever get on my knees.
Get these evil thoughts out of my fucking head.
It ain’t normal when you gotta bring your crazy mind to bed.

Told my friends to pray for me because I’m losing it (pray for me).
Ain’t just drinking the Henny now, I’m abusing it (damn).
I don’t even get a buzz because I’m used to it.
In other words, I feel numb, I’m immune to it.
The relationship with my Father ain’t been good lately.
That’s probably why I’m always fighting with my old man.
Mentally been on my own lately.
Man, y’all don’t know lately.
I kinda been out of my zone lately.
Writers block No new posts lately, ain’t been on Facebook lately.
Wish getting high because I’ve been low lately.
All this COVID shit, I’m over it.
This new election, I don’t know with it.
I’m kind of skeptical.
But this America, you gotta
Shut up and go with it.
The government, ain’t no controlling it.

Circle getting smaller, money getting taller.
Fuck who you are, I’m judging you by your aura.
No doorman, it’s King Charles who open doors up.
I built my brand from the floor up.
Came from the bottom, made some hundreds then I doubled my commas.
Went from wearing white tees, to cashing out on designers.
But still rock white tees, still humble, I promise.
But I’m all about that green like Hennessy and Hpnotiq.
I’m like incredible Hulk when I’m walking.
If you talk about me when I see you, ain’t no talking.
I had a heart, then I lost it, I’ve been hurt too often.
Playing defense with my heart, no more playing offense.
God first, I can’t let the Devil get to me.
I will never change if I keep drinking this Hennessy.
But I would never lose, because I know this shit was meant for me.
This the realist shit I ever wrote.
If I don’t say it in my writings, you would never know me as the Goat.

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