Man, what the hell?
Your energy is all over the goddamn place.
One day you’re bouncing off walls,
and beds, and thoughts
and you can’t stop thinking
long enough to hear someone is speaking to you.
I know you hear it,
I know you hear me.
I know there’s at least a buzzing in your inner ear that calls your attention
A whispering child that’s begging for two seconds of your time.
Other days, seem like nights
It’s quiet in there
Literally nothing is on
Nothing is open
Thoughts are like molasses when they happen
and when they don’t
you’re not surprised
you’re relieved, even.
Glad you don’t have to muster the energy
muster the motivation
to breathe a millisecond faster than you already need to.
There are these orange see-through bottles on your nightstand.
They have these marbles inside
At least I think they’re marbles
Except you swallow them and they come in different shapes and sizes and colors
I can’t pronounce them sometimes but the one by the alarm clock right now is easy:
Next to it, there’s Lamictal, and then Vrylar.
Your psychiatrist said that’s the old-type name.
Who knows what that means.
It still stops the tremors that Lithium keeps gifting you.
You’re given this really neat marble collector cabinet.
They are mini-cabinets for the marbles by day.
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday
If you wake up, that is.
Twice a day with a meal
If you eat, that is.
Don’t forget to take them though,
I’m scared you won’t wake up again
if you stop taking the marbles.
They’re good for you
and so am I.
Day N’ Night.