Gone Missing

Alcohol tells truth, but its truth is not normal. My road of lies were coming to an end but my final lie was my last, yet the most powerful. I left home on a Thursday morning and never returned home until Sunday night. I ignored calls/texts from my wife. In between those days were the darkest eye opening experiences. For I had succumbed to my insidious disease.

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My drunkenness was a temporary suicide. At some point, the booze stopped working. That’s when drinking started sucking. Every time I drank, I could feel pieces of me leaving. I continued to drink until there was nothing left. Just emptiness. No happiness. I last stood at the bar asking myself why am I here and what am I doing with my life Charles?

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I’ll always remember a friend saying to me “so you brought 10 grams of cocaine to a 6 person BBQ and you’re the only 1 that uses it here.” I laughed and realized at the same time I had a drug problem. I was drinking and drugging alone my final months that I didn’t even realize when I was around people that it was abnormal.

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One key symptom of alcoholism is that the individual comes to need a drink for every mood–one to calm down, one to perk up, one to celebrate, one to deal with disappointment, and so on. I combined all my addictions and my life became unmanageable.

#Missing #Loneliness #LiesAreAHandful #Recovery

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